WHO I AM AND WHAT IM ABOUT

About me:when you believe all is not what it seems all of a sudden it is just as it seems anyway still me even after the let downs in my life I am who i am i say what i feel and if you don't like it i am sorry. i have been through a and lived a living hell for many years as an alcoholic. I have been stepped on ripped off lied to and have been severely used. needless to say recently scammed. The money they may have gotten is nothing to what they took from me. My heart, my soul, my compassion to help those who need it, my love and trust in humanity.And replaced it with hatred a feeling i never knew before. If i stay the person they left behind they win. So I am trying to be who i was 1 month ago when i had all of the above they took from me. I was special because even when those i helped had deceived me by their lies on why they needed help i still find love where and good where there is nothing but bad. I have the abilty to believe that there is good in everyone and that even people who are bad can change with the right friend. I have the ability to look past the the imperfections in everyone and love them anyway. Everyone deserves a chance or two but make it to needing a third and you might as well forget it. Im no fool not anymore. I despise people who manipulate, lie, cheat, steal, and most of all those who take someones kindness for weakness and abuse that kindness by using someone to get something not that they need but want. If you think I have something you need ask chances are if you need it more than me I will give it to you. It is best to be upfront and honest with me since i hate liars. chance are If your honest i will help you. And most of the time you will get what you need not want. I will be the ears you need to listen when you have something to get off your chest that is hurting you. i will be the eyes to watch over you when you sleep so no harm will come to you . when life takes you down those dark alleys and you can't seem to find your way back i will be the light to show you the way. i will be your mother sister counselor or just your friend to be their when no one else is. i will never walk behind you or in front of you but when you look to the left or the right you will find me right beside you. I will never turn my back on you even when you push me away. Real friends know when to stay. I hate players and i hate the game. I used to be one. Someone always gets hurt. I don't enjoy inflicting pain on anyone I know how it feels to be played and it can hurt in places you didn't know existed . My player days was over 20 years ago when i got tired of being played i learned the game. Seems these days its a little harder to know whose real whose not. People have made it their life long careers With The New Breed of Players Called Scammers. Those are the ones that will suck the life right out of you. walk away and move on to the next. Thats only if you let them walk away. When I love I love completely, When I trust I trust Fully And when i give i give freely and unconditionally. So I am prey to all who take love and kindness for weakness. I also play the stupid role for a reason. I can be the best friend you ever had in your life and you can trust me completely . I do't have but 2 real friends in my life because most have proved to be only my friend because i had something they need so i don't call them friends iI call them users. Because if ever you need them you won't find them at you disposal And after all you have done for them. I don't count on things from anyone and depend on no-one because there are very few who will stand by you in times of need. So ive learned to depend on me.If you take time to get to know my heart as soon as i get it back you will probably see I am unlike anyone you have ever met. I am real. I'm not an angel or a savior as many call me. I am just me. I am human with strong human emotions and i get hurt like anyone else. I just have a need to be needed And that is my biggest downfall. I don't feel complete if there is no one i can help. I can also be your worst nightmare when fucked over. I am not afraid to die. just afraid of growing old. I missed out on a lot of yrs being an alcoholic . Many i can't remember. I don't drink anymore. I woke up one morning when for the first time in my life I was completely at peace with my past and very much in love and i could not even stand the smell of liquer. I have had a couple drinks since then but can never get passed two. I figured the was a reason why i had to live the life i did. I know i have done my time in hell and I never have to return to it. YOU GET IN LIFE WHAT YOU GIVE. GIVE BAD GET BAD GIVE GOOD AND YOUR LIFE WONT BE BAD. I DO BELIEVE IN KARMA I HAVE BEEN ON THE RECEIVING END OF MY BAD KARMA BEFORE TRUST ME WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND AND WHEN IT DOES YOU WON'T LIKE HOW IT REPAYS YOU . SO SINCE THEN I TRY NEVER TO HURT ANYONE LIE CHEAT OR STEAL AND TREAT EVERYONE AS THEY ARE SOMEONE. WELL SORRY SO LONG AND I COULD GO ON FOR HOURS BUT YOU WILL HAVE TO ASK IF YOU WANT TO ANYTHING ELSELanguage:ENGLISHInterests:THE WAY THE HUMAN HEART AND MIND COME AND DONT COME TOGETHERFavorite books:NopeFavorite music:ALL TYPES DEPENDS THE MOOD AND WHO I AM WITHFavorite TV programs:DONT DO TVFavorite movies:FACE OFFPlaces I've Traveled To:ALMOST ALL THE UNITED STATES AND GERM